Purple Penguins are Evul. That is undeniable scientific fact. Purple penguins were created by Llamas, who were similarly created by Lucifer. Thus the evulness. Here are some more reasons why you should fear them:
Their singing, while both absolutely utterly horrible and plagued with poor lyrics, causes global warming. And they darn well know it. They can swim and live off the fish in the sea. What will happen to us when the poles melt over? Drown.
They have razor sharp teeth.
They're depleting our natural resources.
They've perverted our sense of liberty.
Seen the state of the country lately? It's no coincidence.
Ever heard of P.P.I.? No? Well, it stands for Purple Penguins International. It's a covert terrorist organization. Helmed by Purple Penguins.
They know where you live. Look around. They're watching you.
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